From City to City.

I haven't really wrote on here in a few weeks. I think it's mainly because I've been really busy with school and catching up with all of the end of the semester papers and school work. But, I have a little time right now, so I figured I'd actually write.

Talking about the end of the semester, I'm starting to get really anxious because I am going to see Katie in a week and a day from today. It is all really exciting to me and it has truly been an adventure up until this point. But, if I'm honest with myself, I am really nervous internally. I'm going to meet her family which is going to be huge. And just being with her for the first time in forever will be amazing and interesting. I think I'm actually just freaking myself out more than I need to. It's just that I get so nervous because I don't want to mess anything up. And Katie tells me to just be myself, which I'm obviously going to do, but it is still nerve wracking! Maybe I do just need to calm down and not worry about it. I mean, we have been praying about it individually and together. That means everything should run how it is supposed to, right? I have trust in God and he has been making me feel so alive through Katie even though she is an ocean and a few countries away. Honestly though, with the whole Katie thing, I feel like Sam is the only one who understands. And I get that other people don't understand it, and at least almost all of my friends still support me in my decisions even though they might not get it. But, I just wish they could know how much this all means to me. Josh texted me yesterday from his Regional Tournament in Tennessee and asked how Katie was doing. And even that small gesture meant so much to me. It made me feel like he actually cared about me and the relationship. Not that he didn't already care... I don't know... it just meant a lot to me.

I also have the opportunity to go to one of three different countries this winter for missions. The choices are between India, Kenya, or going back to the Dominican. I have always wanted to go to Africa, but I think I am going to go to India. India is pretty intriguing to me, which I mainly attribute to my liking of the movie Slumdog Millionaire. Plus, the main reason is that I'd be going with Kyle, his brother, and Josh. It would just be us four. I think that would be an amazing experience... just to go into the slums of India with a few of my closest friends and share love and Jesus. I'm actually really excited about it all. I just have to decide if I want to raise money or spend my own money. But, I'm almost positive it will be India at this point. I want to pray about it a little longer though. I'm just all about going whereever Jesus wants me.

Life always seems to stay interesting...

Life Lately.

Today I went to Josh's friend's photography display at this small coffee shop. There was also free wine tasting [which wasn't the best wine, haha]. But, it was still good to catch up with people and socialize. I started walking around by myself and looking at the different pictures. They were beautiful. Dan Smyth, who was the photographer, had gone to India and documented his trip with his camera. I love pictures of random people because I like to look into the people's eyes and get a feel for how they were feeling at that moment. Some may consider that creepy or weird, but I think it is so interesting. You just get this feeling inside of you that almost allows you to enter that person's life for a minute. Sometimes it's sorrow and sometimes it's joy. It all depends. The one thing I do know is that it makes me realize how much I long to travel and how much I long for missions. I've read through my posts on here recently and I am realizing that almost every time I write the subject of missions comes up. My heart just calls out for that so much. Maybe that's a sign of where I'll end up in a few years.

Josh ended up asking me what I thought I'd be doing after college. That is a difficult question. I've been thinking about that a lot lately and I am almost positive that it will be one of three things. Either And Then There Was Love, missions, or the peace corps. I can't help but picture myself anywhere else other than one of those three places. I know that last time I wrote I said that only two things were on my mind lately, and that still holds true. The other thing that I didn't mention is Katie. And that still hasn't changed. Some may not understand our relationship. I don't blame them. I barely do. Haha. But, there is something really special about this girl. And I don't want to let her go. Our thoughts and ideas and future plans and longings... it all just matches up so beautifully. Even if I am a hundred thousand miles away at the moment and even if we would be considered "long distance" for the next year. I think that this feeling inside of me is worth fighting for. It all matches up too well. And I've been praying hardcore about it lately and I feel stronger and stronger about it. And my mom, dad, and sister, who are the three most important people in my life have been encouraging me left and right to go for this. And that makes me even more confident because they are smart people and they know what they are talking about for the most part. I trust them and love them more than anyone. So, to have their approval, and even their encouragement, is huge for me. Katie told me the other day that she's never felt more alive. And I feel that is such a good way to put it. Again, I know that most people don't understand the situation, but what Katie said is exactly how I feel and I believe that that alone is enough to keep exploring.

I also drove back from this coffee shop alone since Josh went to his friend Luke's house after. And I ended up just talking out loud with God on the way back. If anybody looked in my car during the drive, they probably thought I was a little crazy. Haha. But, I like talking to God. I should probably do it a little more often. When I do end up talking to him, I get this almost tingling feeling and everything feels alright. I talked to him about missions and Katie and my family and all the good Friday junk. It was a good talk. I just feel so much peace and joy lately and I guess that is mostly due to where God has placed me in life. Allowing me to have the family I do and allowing me to have randomly met Katie and allowing me to have the heart I do for hurting people and placing certain friends in my path... those are things that a lot of people don't get to experience. And those are the things that I am most thankful for. Life is tough sometimes, but ultimately life is good.

So, today was eventful and I got to think about life and I got to enjoy a lot of different aspects of it. That always makes for a good day.

Dreams.

There are only two things that go through my head anymore. And they are on my mind quite often. One is... errr... well, a secret I guess. And the second is Africa and South America. I NEED to go there. It's just a matter of time. I can't stop picturing myself in Africa and South America. Especially Africa lately for some reason. Ahhh. So much I want to do with my life with so little time.

Africa.

My heart longs for these things that go through my head. I guess my dreams are the only thing that can bring me these futuristic yet exciting things for the time being.... mmmm...

Everlasting Spider Webs.

I just wanted to write something really short on here real quick.

I really think I learned a little more what beauty is all about tonight.

Here's to everlasting spider webs...

I believe in you.

Curveballs.

Isn't it weird how life just seems to fall into place almost perfectly sometimes, but other times it seems like it is hell? But, now that I think about it, if there wasn't the "hell" of life, the "falling into place" of life wouldn't be so beautiful and I
don't think I could appreciate it as much.

I guess this is easier for me to think about lately because life seems to be doing that "falling into place" thing in some ways [well, one way in particular]. I love what is happening and I love the potential of it all. I guess you can just say I'm a happy guy who can't seem to stop smiling lately. Right when you think you might have life figured out, a crazy twist comes in. Thank God for crazy twists. I always try to keep in mind what professor Snyder said... if I'm gonna be here, I'm gonna ride the freakin' rides.

Oh, another side note, I was reminded why I consider Josh one of my best friends the other day. It may sound simple or weird, but he just prayed for me at a point where I was needing it and not particularly thinking about God and it was so baller. I really love that dude. He's such a good guy with a good heart... AND leads the nation in home runs... you think the women would be crawling... sorry JT. But, anyways, thanks JT.

Tears of the Sun.

My heart breaks for Africa. I would so love to go there some day.

Rebel armies. Unmindful killings. Massacres. Cruel deaths.

It is so sad. Is power really worth it? I sometimes wonder if the leaders of these rebels look at what is going on in front of their face and wonder if 'power' is worth it. I would love to just sit down and talk with a rebel army leader. I would love to hear his insight on life. His beliefs. His thoughts. His likes. His dislikes. There are many people I'd like to sit down with and have a conversation with. It is weird to think no matter how we sin, it is equal in God's eyes. Mass murdering and a lie is the same thing to God. It's hard for me to believe, but I believe it. It is written in black and white in the Bible. I wish some people in America and Japan and England and wealthier areas realized what luck they have to live the life they live. There are people, good people, struggling to live because of the decisions of others.

I remember a conversation I had in the car with my sister. She is a nurse who works at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh. I told her that I don't know how she goes into work everyday knowing that she is going to see so many sick and messed up children. She told me that she doesn't know how I deal with people that don't want to live life anymore with And Then There Was Love.

I thought it was so weird because most of the people she is dealing with really want to live a healthy life and can't. And initially I thought the people that I deal with from ATTWL are at fault because they choose their own path. And, yeah, maybe that is the case initially, but at least they are doing something about it now. At least they want out. They want out just as bad as that cancerous kid in the hospital that my sister is treating and loving on. They want out just as bad as that mother from Africa who has to deal with the contant threat of death to her and her family for being a Christian. How brave. How brave of the African and how brave of the cancer patient and how brave of the depressed person. Bravery.

This is why I do And Then There Was Love. This is why I want to eventually do missions. To stick up for the brave who simply needs someone. Don't we all need someone?

Just a bunch of rambling... but I feel like my thoughts are a little bit more clear now...

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
- Edmund Burke

My Head Spins.

I want to follow God with my heart.

Simple. Short. Eight words. Just a single sentence.

Most of the time I feel like it's a lot harder and a lot more complex than those few words.

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"He must become greater; I must become less."
- John 3:30

Simple. Short. Eight words. Just a single sentence.

Life is complex, yet simple. Hmmm...

So many decisions.